During our layover at Toronto Pearson International Airport last weekend, I was once again reminded of how utterly unflattering fanny packs are on most people, especially certain people, and they’re the people that, 9 times out of 10, are the ones that wear them. I know other people wear them (right?), but I wasn’t shocked as time after time, I spied a fat, 40ish-65ish woman in an unflattering t-shirt walking around with this extra protrusion hanging off their front; the strap lost somewhere in the folds of…anyway, seeing this over and over again was just depressing and made me, as an obese woman with a little thought for personal style, a tad angry at them for perpetuating the stereotype. I left those thoughts behind as we boarded the plane for our 11 hour flight. Or so I thought.
The fanny pack haunted me as I took a seat in 12 F. The cussbag sitting on the other side of Rick during the flight was all spiffed out in his jet setter best, including his PRADA FANNY PACK. I thought to myself, “what manner of fanny packery is this?” a) Why does Prada even make this product, and b) Why on earth would anyone pay upwards of $350 (retail $445) to wear something that looks as silly as a $5 one from Big Lots? Srsly. (I’m not just calling him a cussbag because he dressed like a git. He acted like one, too. Too bad he didn’t pack any civility in his fanny Prada.)
I didn’t sleep well on that flight. I usually sleep well on planes. I blame the Prada fanny pack.
Interestingly, on Prada’s website it’s called a belt bag. Ok, keep telling yourselves that. On all the discount sites I found, it’s called a “Prada fanny pack.”